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About me

T here it was, right there on my Instagram feed.

Yes, the idea of not needing a man was once an empowering, necessary message in its specific context of financial autonomy. If a woman declares her need for purposeful work, close friendships, creative pursuits, money, sex, more sleep, adventure, etc. She might be encouraged to take some alone time and learn how to make herself happy.

This myopic view of independence pathologizes romantic love for heterosexual women. Same old flavor, brand new look!

Chivalry still has a place

Of course, not every woman needs deep, committed intimacy and romantic partnership, but for the ones who do, feeling balanced can be a tremendous and tremendously unnecessary struggle. I guess I need more hobbies. I think about getting married and starting a family a lot—all the time actually. What kind of dad he might be, that kind of thing.

Love is natural, healthy, beautiful and, perhaps above all, liberating. The need for love is also all of these things.

Spoiler: humor is key.

How can you tell when a connection becomes toxic? Very simply, healthy love feels good. at letters time. Getty Images.

By Katherine Schafler. Get our Health Newsletter.

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