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About me

As humans, we are always searching for connections.

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It is now a scientific fact that humans are hard-wired to seek connection, love, and belonging. This basic care has a profound affect on the rest of our lives. If we do not receive the love and belonging that we need as children, it can make it difficult for us to establish healthy relationships in adulthood.

If we do receive these things in childhood, we still need to recognize and work for them in our adult lives. Seeking this genuine connection is becoming difficult in our current society.

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I faced adversity and I overcame it all by myself. Look at how strong I am! I get in my own head and try to push through any issues on my own. We all need advice and help in moments of despair.

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Lately, when I do ask for help, I always apologize for it. You meet someone or see a movie or read a book that reflects what is happening to you, and it enriches your experience. Around the time I started working on my sense of love and belonging, a friend of mine started a book club based around some psychology and self-help books.

So I ed up, even though it scared me. The real courage is seeking a connection with others in this time of need. When I look at it that way, I see no need to apologize for reaching out to those I love when I am struggling. I just wrote a piece on teammatesand I touched on a very recent memory of driving with some teammates to Regionals and answering the 36 questions to find love.

And how do we find it?

That was a very emotional, raw, and vulnerable experience. But it was also a supportive experience. I do feel a real bond with those people now in a different way than I used to. I feel like I can tell them anything now, and since that car ride I have opened up to them about things I never thought I would. It was also a different feeling when we were playing together, because the trust we had for one another was deeper.

Regionals was a grind, but these people supported me and we pushed each other to achieve more. There was one point where two people from that car ride were involved in a score.

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We all laughed, but it was sort of true. I think we need to be grateful for the people in our lives. I think we need to be honest with them.

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I think we need to allow ourselves to feel pain, vulnerability, and uncertainty. Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more.

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If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. Start a blog. in.

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Felicia C. What is Real Connection? And how do we find it?

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Jen Sanfilippo Follow. Of course, this is a lie. When you are vulnerable with another person and empathize with them, your bond becomes stronger. This is a connection that you will never get from likes on Facebook, claps on Medium, or texting someone because you feel bored.

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It is deep, complex, and real. It takes time to build. You open yourself up to being judged or disliked.

We use social media as a quick band aid to try and cover up our feelings of unhappiness, discontent, or boredom. If you try to handle conflict on your own, you only see part of what is happening. When you talk it out with other people, you see a different point of view, which helps you see the big picture and make a more informed decision. You need to feel and establish that trust and make sure that they truly empathize with you.

P.s. i love you

This is a learning process that will take time; there will be some great discoveries, but also some setbacks. That is ok — just go along for the ride and see where it takes you.

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I Love You Relationships now. I Love You Follow. Written by Jen Sanfilippo Follow. More From Medium. Jason Gutierrez in P. I Love You. Dating Apps- Swiping Away Through college.

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Brisaida Trujillo. Amelia Walsh. Frontiers of Adulting: Kindness is a Muscle.

A growing disconnect

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